But the owner of the last white rose didn't come that day. It makes me think tat the rose didn't belong to her. So I'm searching for a new owner.
P/S: That is the real picture of the rose taken with a powerful camera. It's about 3/4 times smaller.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
The owner of the last white rose
I made a huge amount of paper roses for Teachers Day.
But the owner of the last white rose didn't come that day. It makes me think tat the rose didn't belong to her. So I'm searching for a new owner.
P/S: That is the real picture of the rose taken with a powerful camera. It's about 3/4 times smaller.
But the owner of the last white rose didn't come that day. It makes me think tat the rose didn't belong to her. So I'm searching for a new owner.
P/S: That is the real picture of the rose taken with a powerful camera. It's about 3/4 times smaller.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Exam Journal: Week 3 - "I was what you are, you will be what I am."
Einstein once said, "The life of the individual has meaning only in so far as it aids in making the life of every living thing nobler and more beautiful."
Who am I kidding? After my past three weeks experience, I don't believe I'm getting any better. I don' think my life has any meaning so far. Most would notice.
Day 12
I woke up with half my face covered in sand. They were packing up now. Ready to go. We walked. What I stepped on has become less and less sandy and more rocky with pebbles and stones. The heat is receding. It's much more cooler now. Thank God.
Day 13
The day I felt so tired. Even lifting my legs felt like an effort. I can't remember the last time I was fully rested. They say we're at war. But I asked myself, "Where's the enemy?" This is a trial before the battle. A journey. A run. But where are we running to? Or is it proper to use the word "from"? Where the hell are we heading? What are we fighting? All communication seems lost. We're on our own.
Day 14: Maths 1 & 2
The wind picks up. There was a layer of mist. We can't see where we're going. We just went forward and just head what's in our way with a tenuous layer of desperation.
Day 15 : Add Maths 1 & 2
The wind from the day before evolved into a storm. It was raining and the wind was blowing us apart. It was cold and the wind chilled us to the bones. In the storm, we walked. In the storm, I thought I saw shadows. Not people of ours. Just shadows in the rain. Stalking us. Then disappeared. I wonder if the enemies are watching us. Then I saw her. At least I thought I did. And she looked away.
Day 16: Chemistry 1 & 2
This is where I said I had enough. This weariness, no one should ever feel. We've finally came about 10km radius of the centre behind the enemy line. My hands and legs are killing me. We are just a long line of walking displays of bruises. I'm not sure if I'll be fit enough for the battle, ultimately. My friends are doing pretty well to my surprise. What was once a queue of saints are now a parade of cursing sailors.
Day 17: Chemistry 3 & Biology 3
As we get nearer to the centre of it all, the rain and the rapid wind grew stronger. But still we kept on walking. But everyone stopped in their paths because in front of us was the eye of the storm. The place where everything is calm and peaceful; in the middle of the tornado. Step in and we're dry. Step in and we're safe. Step in and we might face the enemy. There's no turning back, so some of us just walked in. The rest waited. I waited. Then, they came out. Not all. Only some of them. Those that came out was either crying or laughing. Whatever's in there, it's madness.
Day 18: Biology 1 & 2
After a long wait, and no one else came out, the second batch walked in. Time stood still in there. I was alone. My friends were gone, probably heading for their own unique trials. What I saw in front of me was horror. A 4-year worth of failure. Something so hideous, so painful to look at. Something that I have buried deep in the past and should've never been exhumed. In front of me was a single piece of mirror. Nothing else. And for the first time in more than four years, I realized the only thing that stood in my way was myself. I felt a rapid hope loss. I saw my parents, our old house, my old friends, and all the places and faces I've come to fear the most from my childhood. Whoever crafted that mirror must've been a devil. I looked around, there was no one. I just somehow can't break this mirror or even make my way around it. So I turn and walked away as my reflection, the one trapped in that mirror, looked down on me. I could almost hear "Eris quod sum" being uttered.
But now I'm back. Back to the place I started at. I've been locking myself in this damn room in this damn empty house, writing the final pages of this journal, like I've never wanted out.
Who am I kidding? After my past three weeks experience, I don't believe I'm getting any better. I don' think my life has any meaning so far. Most would notice.
Day 12
I woke up with half my face covered in sand. They were packing up now. Ready to go. We walked. What I stepped on has become less and less sandy and more rocky with pebbles and stones. The heat is receding. It's much more cooler now. Thank God.
Day 13
The day I felt so tired. Even lifting my legs felt like an effort. I can't remember the last time I was fully rested. They say we're at war. But I asked myself, "Where's the enemy?" This is a trial before the battle. A journey. A run. But where are we running to? Or is it proper to use the word "from"? Where the hell are we heading? What are we fighting? All communication seems lost. We're on our own.
Day 14: Maths 1 & 2
The wind picks up. There was a layer of mist. We can't see where we're going. We just went forward and just head what's in our way with a tenuous layer of desperation.
Day 15 : Add Maths 1 & 2
The wind from the day before evolved into a storm. It was raining and the wind was blowing us apart. It was cold and the wind chilled us to the bones. In the storm, we walked. In the storm, I thought I saw shadows. Not people of ours. Just shadows in the rain. Stalking us. Then disappeared. I wonder if the enemies are watching us. Then I saw her. At least I thought I did. And she looked away.
Day 16: Chemistry 1 & 2
This is where I said I had enough. This weariness, no one should ever feel. We've finally came about 10km radius of the centre behind the enemy line. My hands and legs are killing me. We are just a long line of walking displays of bruises. I'm not sure if I'll be fit enough for the battle, ultimately. My friends are doing pretty well to my surprise. What was once a queue of saints are now a parade of cursing sailors.
Day 17: Chemistry 3 & Biology 3
As we get nearer to the centre of it all, the rain and the rapid wind grew stronger. But still we kept on walking. But everyone stopped in their paths because in front of us was the eye of the storm. The place where everything is calm and peaceful; in the middle of the tornado. Step in and we're dry. Step in and we're safe. Step in and we might face the enemy. There's no turning back, so some of us just walked in. The rest waited. I waited. Then, they came out. Not all. Only some of them. Those that came out was either crying or laughing. Whatever's in there, it's madness.
Day 18: Biology 1 & 2
After a long wait, and no one else came out, the second batch walked in. Time stood still in there. I was alone. My friends were gone, probably heading for their own unique trials. What I saw in front of me was horror. A 4-year worth of failure. Something so hideous, so painful to look at. Something that I have buried deep in the past and should've never been exhumed. In front of me was a single piece of mirror. Nothing else. And for the first time in more than four years, I realized the only thing that stood in my way was myself. I felt a rapid hope loss. I saw my parents, our old house, my old friends, and all the places and faces I've come to fear the most from my childhood. Whoever crafted that mirror must've been a devil. I looked around, there was no one. I just somehow can't break this mirror or even make my way around it. So I turn and walked away as my reflection, the one trapped in that mirror, looked down on me. I could almost hear "Eris quod sum" being uttered.
But now I'm back. Back to the place I started at. I've been locking myself in this damn room in this damn empty house, writing the final pages of this journal, like I've never wanted out.
Monday, May 25, 2009
I Want My Money Back.
You're the one that I've been calling for.
But you saw me today, and looked away. Considering that that's pretty rude, and it's hard for me to talk when your people are all around.
You were great. I enjoyed the show.
But, in the words of Lenka, "I want my money back."
But you saw me today, and looked away. Considering that that's pretty rude, and it's hard for me to talk when your people are all around.
You were great. I enjoyed the show.
But, in the words of Lenka, "I want my money back."
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Exam Journal: Week 2 - Hours are as subtle as shards of glass to the skin.
I am wrting this entry from a comfort of knowing that I can rest for a while without really thinking much about anything. It is late afternoon, and the shadows are about to lengthen but the warmth of the sand still lingers. I have a deep conviction that this is the last journal entry I shall make, but even if I nor these words survived, I still need to record the week.
For the first time since the journey began, there rose in us a spring of hope.
Day 5
We reached the first checkpoint behind the enemy line. It's like a rubicon. We've crossed it. There's no turning back. We packed, and licked our wounds.
Day 6
The radio seemed to be off for quite a while. No respond. We don't know what to do. All we could do was wait for what's coming.
Day 7: Teacher's Day
Amidst the silent and the tension of the battle, we found the time to celebrate those who had prepared us for the world, and beyond. For some, it wasn't important. But for most, it was a necessity
Day 8: Sejarah 1
The plan was simple. The reasoning part was not. Get in. Get out. Easy as that. But the problems we faced in between those two was the real question. But I believe, so deeply in my heart, that all we needed to do was learn from the mistakes that our fathers made.
Day 9: Sejarah 2 & Fizik 2
Now the real test begin. We must really learn from who has come before us. It's like we're crawling in a tunnel. So dark, and our bodies are wet and the equipment we brought with us are so heavy. Not seeing where we're going. The only hope is knowing that at the end of this path is a light. A light not yet found.
Day 10: Fizik 3 & Fizik 1
As we reached the end of that tunnel, we don't need to count, we don't even really need to think. We just ran! For some it was easy, the rest just falling behind.
Day 11: P. Islam 1 & 2 // P. Moral
We stopped. In front of us is a vast desert. Far as the eyes could see with the sunlight searing our skin. There are always deserts in most religious stories. I always wonder why. Maybe because the desert gives the image of wondering, or being lost trying to find our way, of searching for something; the truth perhaps, the answers maybe. Revelation. It is then I realized that this is not just a battle; it's a crusade. So, without knowing the outcome or what's at the end, we crossed the sea of sand one by one...
But eveything is just too much. The heat. They ought to slow it down if not stop it. Either that or our heads are going to 'pop'...
The sun is failing and I can bearely see the pages. But one thing's for sure: We needed this week.
For the first time since the journey began, there rose in us a spring of hope.
Day 5
We reached the first checkpoint behind the enemy line. It's like a rubicon. We've crossed it. There's no turning back. We packed, and licked our wounds.
Day 6
The radio seemed to be off for quite a while. No respond. We don't know what to do. All we could do was wait for what's coming.
Day 7: Teacher's Day
Amidst the silent and the tension of the battle, we found the time to celebrate those who had prepared us for the world, and beyond. For some, it wasn't important. But for most, it was a necessity
Day 8: Sejarah 1
The plan was simple. The reasoning part was not. Get in. Get out. Easy as that. But the problems we faced in between those two was the real question. But I believe, so deeply in my heart, that all we needed to do was learn from the mistakes that our fathers made.
Day 9: Sejarah 2 & Fizik 2
Now the real test begin. We must really learn from who has come before us. It's like we're crawling in a tunnel. So dark, and our bodies are wet and the equipment we brought with us are so heavy. Not seeing where we're going. The only hope is knowing that at the end of this path is a light. A light not yet found.
Day 10: Fizik 3 & Fizik 1
As we reached the end of that tunnel, we don't need to count, we don't even really need to think. We just ran! For some it was easy, the rest just falling behind.
Day 11: P. Islam 1 & 2 // P. MoralWe stopped. In front of us is a vast desert. Far as the eyes could see with the sunlight searing our skin. There are always deserts in most religious stories. I always wonder why. Maybe because the desert gives the image of wondering, or being lost trying to find our way, of searching for something; the truth perhaps, the answers maybe. Revelation. It is then I realized that this is not just a battle; it's a crusade. So, without knowing the outcome or what's at the end, we crossed the sea of sand one by one...
But eveything is just too much. The heat. They ought to slow it down if not stop it. Either that or our heads are going to 'pop'...
The sun is failing and I can bearely see the pages. But one thing's for sure: We needed this week.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Sighting...
I was at Senai Airport again today, and I saw Tn Hj Aminolhuda Hassan on his way to London. No pictures (of him). That is all.
EDIT: I found out on Teacher's Day that while I saw Tn Hj Aminolhuda, Tn Hj Zulkipli saw me! Heh.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Exam Journal: Week 1 - When it rains.
It was raining that morning. It was still early, and we were so young. This is a race. But we're going no where. I am so nervous. I sit and listen to the sound that was coming from the eastern front.
I might not come back. So I decided to write this journal in the hope that people can see this as I see it from my own eyes.
Day 1: EST 1 & 2
The frontline was dispatched. It was easy. It seemed easy. Just too easy.
Day 2: B.CINA 1 & 2/ B.INDIA 1 & 2
Some of us stayed back a bit. But we prayed for our brothers in arms as we watch them fade.
Day 3: B.MELAYU 1 & 2
Those that were despatched during the first day were called back. We were regrouped. We sit and listen, waiting for the clock to strike 0740 for that is the time we are expecting a strike. We're out of time.
Day 4: B.I. I & II
I see some familiar tired yet determined faces of my brothers around me. We got up early again today, way before the sunrise. We would just wish we could drown our sorrow and see a new tomorrow. I find it hard to write this journal.
I never saw it coming. A simple trial, yet so exhausting.
I might not come back. So I decided to write this journal in the hope that people can see this as I see it from my own eyes.
Day 1: EST 1 & 2
The frontline was dispatched. It was easy. It seemed easy. Just too easy.
Day 2: B.CINA 1 & 2/ B.INDIA 1 & 2
Some of us stayed back a bit. But we prayed for our brothers in arms as we watch them fade.
Day 3: B.MELAYU 1 & 2
Those that were despatched during the first day were called back. We were regrouped. We sit and listen, waiting for the clock to strike 0740 for that is the time we are expecting a strike. We're out of time.
Day 4: B.I. I & II
I see some familiar tired yet determined faces of my brothers around me. We got up early again today, way before the sunrise. We would just wish we could drown our sorrow and see a new tomorrow. I find it hard to write this journal.
I never saw it coming. A simple trial, yet so exhausting.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Friday, May 08, 2009
CHOKED!!
Finally, after a long wait, we found out that the mid-year exam will be held on the 12th of May 2009. That's less than a week away.
Don't forget to pray.
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
In cold sweat
It has finally caught up with me. Sickness, I mean.
After more than a year of health (I've been coming to school and having perfect attendance since the 2nd term of 2007), I've finally fallen sick.
I woke up two days ago with cold sweat running down my back in the middle of the night. I can't breathe. Something was blocking my breathing passage. My throat was hurting like hell. I can't even swallow. I feel nauseous and light-headed. Drowsy. I was even hallucinating, for God sake. I experienced fear. My body was heating up. It was the fear in certain death. But it's normal for a person to hallucinate while having a cold. But the last time that happened to me was when I was six or so.
This went on for two days.
It was a complete waste of time. I wish I hadn't been sick. I can't focus. I can't even sit upright. I can't read or do revision. And I just found out that the mid-year is on the 13th or 14th of May. That's a week away.
But still, my health is much more important than that. I mean, if I was sick, how am I supposed to take the exam? I rather be healthy and failed the exam than be sick and feel like I'm being tortured.
Anyway, I finally went to the clinic. The doctor prescribed me some very strong medication. It will last for about a month. The doctor said, either I take that for a month or I could go for a surgery to take out whatever that’s blocking my breathing passage.
I will gladly take the medication.
And this pretty much explain why I haven't gone to school in May yet and why there are no post during the 2nd to the 4th of May.
I know I'm not ready for the mid-year exam yet, but one thing's for sure, I feel a lot better now.
All I can say is COME WHAT MAY.
After more than a year of health (I've been coming to school and having perfect attendance since the 2nd term of 2007), I've finally fallen sick.
I woke up two days ago with cold sweat running down my back in the middle of the night. I can't breathe. Something was blocking my breathing passage. My throat was hurting like hell. I can't even swallow. I feel nauseous and light-headed. Drowsy. I was even hallucinating, for God sake. I experienced fear. My body was heating up. It was the fear in certain death. But it's normal for a person to hallucinate while having a cold. But the last time that happened to me was when I was six or so.
This went on for two days.
It was a complete waste of time. I wish I hadn't been sick. I can't focus. I can't even sit upright. I can't read or do revision. And I just found out that the mid-year is on the 13th or 14th of May. That's a week away.
But still, my health is much more important than that. I mean, if I was sick, how am I supposed to take the exam? I rather be healthy and failed the exam than be sick and feel like I'm being tortured.
Anyway, I finally went to the clinic. The doctor prescribed me some very strong medication. It will last for about a month. The doctor said, either I take that for a month or I could go for a surgery to take out whatever that’s blocking my breathing passage.
I will gladly take the medication.
And this pretty much explain why I haven't gone to school in May yet and why there are no post during the 2nd to the 4th of May.
I know I'm not ready for the mid-year exam yet, but one thing's for sure, I feel a lot better now.
All I can say is COME WHAT MAY.
Keep the faith.
Friday, May 01, 2009
1st of May
*sigh*
April came and went just like that. We're one step closer to PMR/SPM/STPM. One month older. Time is definitely not on our sides. That also means that I have less than a week to go. But let's not take the fun away just yet.
Because here comes the day that I'm sure most, if not all, of the teachers had been waiting for. It's more special than Teacher's Day and all around much more special than their own birthdays. Because, for once every year, they don't have to be where they usually are today -- that is, working!
Happy Labour Day, you all!
April came and went just like that. We're one step closer to PMR/SPM/STPM. One month older. Time is definitely not on our sides. That also means that I have less than a week to go. But let's not take the fun away just yet.
Because here comes the day that I'm sure most, if not all, of the teachers had been waiting for. It's more special than Teacher's Day and all around much more special than their own birthdays. Because, for once every year, they don't have to be where they usually are today -- that is, working!
Happy Labour Day, you all!
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